"The Delivery Driver" by Oscar Cedeno
鈥淭here is movement at your front door.鈥�
Kyle looked up from his phone at the voice assistant. 鈥淐omputer, show me the front door.鈥� A face appeared on the 5 inch LCD screen. The man looked angry in his green vest.
鈥淣o way!鈥� Kyle said, taking the stairs two at a time. Reece bounced at his side, feline tail swaying in shared excitement. He opened the front door to reveal the man and the cardboard box marked with a curved arrow logo.
鈥淵our package,鈥� the man made a face. His eyes were bloodshot and Kyle could hear his teeth grinding.
鈥淭he one I just ordered a minute ago?鈥� Kyle hesitated, then picked up the box, pressing down on the side like he鈥檇 done a hundred times so he could get a finger under the packing tape and tear off the top. 鈥淵es, 400 googly eyes! How is this possible?鈥�
鈥淕oogly eyes,鈥� the man said, stamping one foot against the rug. 鈥淵ou chose same-day delivery at 11:59 pm for googly eyes. May I ask you, sir, what was the emergency you were hoping to solve with the googly eyes?鈥�
鈥淚 just want to look cool and it鈥檚 crazy that you get 400 of them for $11. I was going to put them on like a thermos I guess and take them to work tomorrow so鈥︹��
鈥淩ight, right,鈥� the man said, spitting to the side. A tooth bounced off Kyle鈥檚 lawn. 鈥淒o you want to know how it鈥檚 possible? Imagine you need a job and you discover that the shipping center of the largest company in the world is hiring right next door.鈥�
鈥淐learly I upset you. I鈥檓 sorry. I think I鈥檓 going to go to bed.鈥� Kyle said, closing the door with a creak on the man. 鈥淭hanks again.鈥�
鈥淭here鈥檚 movement at your front door,鈥� declared the voice assistant he had in the living room. 鈥淣ow announcing from the bell: 鈥�
鈥淵ou see, the thing is, you asked me how that鈥檚 possible,鈥� the man鈥檚 voice carried across the room. The screen down here was the 8-inch model, showing even more detail of the man鈥檚 clogged pores. 鈥淎nd I feel like it would be rude if I don鈥檛 give you an answer. So I鈥檒l tell you how it鈥檚 possible and you鈥檒l listen to me.鈥�
Kyle took this phone out of his pocket. It was frozen.
鈥淣ow imagine you took that job and were paid $15 an hour. And then you do such a good job that you get promoted to floor manager and make $17 an hour. Forget that every day after work your muscles ache like an old man but you鈥檙e making more money than all your friends.鈥�
鈥淧lease sir, can you go?鈥�
鈥淏ut the metrics are falling, it鈥檚 getting harder to keep up, and corporate blue vests prowl your workstation like vultures looking for an excuse to take your livelihood. One day you have an outgoing delivery, an ashen leather-bound book with thread that looks like a maiden鈥檚 hair. In it, you find an enchantment to make any wish come true.鈥�
The man coughed, a horrible noise that sounded like something was seriously wrong inside him. 鈥淚鈥檒l call a doctor for you sir, please.鈥�
鈥淭he compulsion would just get me out of the ambulance, it would be a waste of time. Now, let鈥檚 say you made a wish in that book. For money? Happiness? Nothing that simple because you think it鈥檚 a joke. So you wished in the book that you always hit your metrics, but it turns out the old adage is as true as they say.鈥�
鈥淪o that鈥檚 what happened to you? You wished to always meet your goals at work and now you do?鈥� Kyle unplugged the back of the assistant. The screen did not go off.
鈥淣o matter how late, no matter how long the hours, my body labors. All across the United States like a non-unionized Santa Claus. I would have died years ago, save for the magic holding me together. As long as there are people like you willing to ask the impossible, I work. I make it work, down the list, from A to fricken Z.鈥�
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry, I won鈥檛 do it again.鈥�
鈥淎nd as you step back, 10 million more will step forward in your place.鈥� The man coughed again and collapsed.
Kyle rushed to the door, dropping the cheap plastic package scattering its 400 eyes. The man was twitching on the steps. Kyle patted the man鈥檚 pockets looking for a cell phone. They were empty.
With convulsive zombie-like movements the man rose. 鈥淏reak鈥檚 over. Another delivery has no chance of making it on time. Without me, the metrics will fall and the corporate prophets will be displeased.鈥�
The man turned and jogged off, rounding the corner down the road leaving bloody footprints on the sidewalk. Behind Kyle, he could hear a googly eye rolling as the cat batted it back and forth across the living room. It sounded cheap.
Oscar Cedeno is a Utah Valley University student who indulges in mac and cheese and witty puns. He marvels at Mother Nature鈥檚 intricacies via weather segments and finds joy in rearranging magnet letters on fridges to form new phrases.